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Monkey Mind Times

Updated: Dec 1, 2020

Covid-19 has varied greatly for each individual from devastatingly tragic to merely challengingly life-altering.

I’m lucky, I fall on the latter end of the spectrum. Everyone‘s healthy and safe and I have a roof.

I know all that, and yet I find myself struggling with not making this about me—how am I bettering myself, how am I healing, how am I optimizing these lemons into lemonade. This pandemic and the loss it is creating is much bigger than that, so I feel guilty.

***Full disclosure: it’s been difficult redefining my role in a yoga and meditation landscape that is no-touch and studio-less and basically staring at myself in a box on my computer screen wondering if I have a financial future.***

My job is all about dropping the ego from action, for the sake of myself and the world. Panic states naturally call for us to react from the ego: our ego is what keeps the other person from taking our money, partner, sense of self and that last pack of toilet paper at Costco. Ego is the armor we use to protect ourselves as well as how we make sense of existence.

In the past, I have put myself in situations specifically designed to stretch my ego comfort zone. Self-mastery stuff like plunging into an ice bath, or fasting, or upending a life I loved to move to a mountain to start from scratch—all designed to drop inward to link with my vital nature. The difference with a pandemic is it wasn’t a cho